Get perspective and take control
- Emotions: Write down the emotions that you struggle with – FEAR
- Response: Write down your response to the emotion. It could be an action, reaction or paralysis. Fear leads to panic – I become paralysed or I want to run away. Or I almost want to start hyperventilating – I have to remind myself to breath and to keep calm. My mind starts to race and I lose control of the thoughts that come into my mind.
- Action: Write down the action that results. It may be a facial expression, a verbal response or a physical action. Fear – paralysis
Write down the changes you intend to make for each emotion you listed using the following keys:
- Emotions are based on what you think and not reality. Write down what you think at times regarding that emotion and write down the truth.
- Write a plan to bring balance to that emotion bearing in mind the keys – distraction, focused thought, will power, prayer, and express yourself.
Emotion 1: Fear
Thought: I fear that this is not my life that my husband is not for me, that my daughter is not for me – and that I am going to lose it all or lose myself.
Truth: I am exactly where God wants me to be. My prayer throughout my tumultuous childhood is that God would not allow me to have a marriage like my parents, and He has answered that prayer.
11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Plan: Distraction: To rather fill myself with God’s truth – I am exactly where I need to be. Distract myself by quoting scripture, and to breathe slowly.
Focused thought: To advise myself as if I was giving advice to a friend, “If you love him, stay with him. There is no option to leave, and this is where God wants you to be. So, listen to the Word of God, listen to your heart and enjoy your marriage. You are not your mother. You are you. And God created you to live this amazing life with your husband because of who God is.”
So when I am feeling fear, I need to recite the word of God to remind me that this is where I am meant to be in life.
2 Timothy 1:7
King James Version (KJV)
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
So, God did not intend for me to live with this fear.
Also, to remind myself how good things were and how I never had doubt before I became a mom, which says that all this anxiety and fear is more a situational thing – to remind myself of all the blessing and goodness of the past nine years of marriage and to celebrate making it through the last four years.
Will power: Listen to the radio, focus on breathing, keeping calm, purposely think the opposite of what is causing the fear, quote scripture, doubt my fear (thank you Joyce Meyer)
Express yourself: Which is why I blog…
About anxiousmotherhoodI have found becoming a mother has filled me with such anxiety on a deep and very insecure level. I hope this blog will help me gain my sense of calm, security and peace...
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