Pin Pricks on my head…
Negativity and negative thinking causes anxiety. A thought – negative or positive – causes a feeling. That feeling – negative or positive – causes an action to follow and that action can be as simple as pulling your face, or as forceful as a full-blown panic attack.
That is why the bible teaches us to be careful what we think about. If you are a young girl and you daydream about being attacked and raped, even fantasize about it, how do you suppose that will act out in a loving relationship? No matter how loving the relationship is, you will always feel anxiety if that is what you are thinking. However, if you think about loving and kind sex, you will be excited about an intimate relationship – because your mind, soul and emotions are geared up for that. It is so important to guard our minds.
Every time I have a negative thought, now that I am aware of what the repercussions can be, it feels like pin pricks on my scalp. Our little daughter is growing up and soon she will be on her own – and I am expecting that to cause me huge anxiety. It’s always a thought first – I think, how am I going to cope without her? So, then I start to fear that event happening, then I start of feel anxious, and that brings about another round of fear and anxiety, which then starts this whole cycle.
And you know what?
At the end of the day, all is going to be okay. Yes, it is sad that she is growing up so quickly, but while the sadness is felt as one cycle in life ends, there most certainly is joy in watching her become a beautiful young woman, leading an independent and strong life. Yes, there are always many trials and tribulations to go through – life is hard. I think it is meant to be hard, to sift out the “survival of the fittest”…
But, as soon as I push the negative thoughts aside, and the fear and the worry, and start focusing on the positive – you know what happens? I start to feel a whole lot calmer. In fact, I may find myself starting to enjoy some time out with hubby or by myself. I may even surprise myself.
And that is what I have been trying to say all along.
If you keep putting stress, negativity and anxiety into everything you think and do – well, that is all that you will get out.
I KNOW that everything will be okay. I believe it because I must. And because I can. And I believe it because the history of my life has taught me that it always works out in the end. It always does. And because there is, a part of me that knows it is true. I can’t stress about what may or may not happen in the future, I can only focus on this moment. Right now. In essence, it is all I have. So, with God’s grace, I need to put aside all my negativity and fear of the future, and focus on this little moment I have right now. And it’s amazing how the anxiety that’s always pressing like pinpricks against my skull suddenly feels quite a bit less threatening.
Negative thinking – no matter how unrealistic – conjures up negative emotions. And negative emotions can and will lead to negative actions or reactions.
If that is true, and I have no doubt that it is, then surely, the converse is also true. Positive thinking – no matter how unrealistic – will conjure up positive emotions. And positive emotions can and will lead to positive actions and/or reactions.
Having said all the above though, it is one of the most difficult things in this life to control your thoughts. Sometimes the alluring feelings that come from thinking negatively entice you to entertain that thought – for far longer than is healthy.
And it’s not just a case of positive thinking – you need to get yourself to a point of totally believing the positive thoughts, believing and having faith – so it’s just not just superficial positive thinking, but something that infiltrates your mind, your soul and your emotions. But it is not easy. Not at all and that is why we need to be disciplined and not give in when a negative thought comes our way – we need to focus on the positive, and distract our minds and emotions from the negativity.
Does any of this make sense?
So, my belief is that as our daughter is growing up, and will slowly start to move away from the family fold, I know – deep in my heart – that whatever anxiety I may feel, hubby and I will welcome some much need time to rekindle our flame and nurture our marriage and our relationship, as well as nurture some time alone for ourselves. And those are all good things.
So, I will be strong – I will focus on the positive, because through focusing on the positive, the belief and faith will follow. And the outcomes of whatever situation I feel anxious about will surely be different, than if I just entertained the negative the whole time.
And that is my prayer – thank Heavens the good Lord is on my side.
More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
The Two Posters
On the second poster, on the right, it says in bright, beautiful colours:
Love, peace, patience, friendship, romance, truth, righteousness, purity, loveliness, faith, admiration…
What do you think will fill your heart and mind if you stare at the poster on the left?
What do you think will fill your heart and mind if you stare at the poster on the right?
For far too long, I have been staring at the poster on the left. I have been filling my heart, my thoughts, my mind with so much negativity by just focusing on all these negatives – fearing the fact that I may be feeling a little anxious, fearing another panic attack, fearing that I am living the wrong life, fearing that I’m not going to eat, that I am going to get sick and die, hiding in shame at the weight I’ve gained and am battling to lose, hiding in shame with my parent’s divorce, feeling overwhelmed by lack of sleep, a stressful job and major financial issues…
No wonder I have been feeling so anxious, with a constant tension of something being wrong, just waiting for that boulder to come down the hill and hit me, or the bus to crash.
If I keep putting so much stress and negativity into everything I say, do, think and feel – then I can quite honestly only expect anxiety, panic attacks, and lots of negativity.
I think it is about time I step away from the poster on the left, take a side step, and start focusing on the poster on the right.
Let me think about all the love in my life and how incredibly blessed I am to have a husband and daughter who love me so much. Or focusing my energies on feeling peace and love. Or injecting some romance into my marriage. Or having some faith that perhaps I am exactly where God wants me to be. Or a little faith that everything will work out just as its meant to in the end, I mean, doesn’t God tell us:
Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
And doesn’t He tell us to think properly?
Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
I think it is with good reason that the good Lord above has told us to watch our thoughts and our thinking patterns.
As Joyce Meyer says, “You cannot have a positive life thinking negative thoughts.”
Easier said than done – I think we are all prone to be drawn towards the negative. The negative somehow gives us a skewed meaning of life, but makes life feel more real. That is such a lie – I’m just sorry I’m only realising that now as I head into my 40’s. I suppose better late than never…